Co-sleeping with your baby is a personal choice and effective solution to many sleep problems among newborns. Attachment parenting supports infants sleeping with a parent for the first six months of life and beyond, based on the theory that babies thrive with early and sustained close physical proximity: The movement's proponents joke that they "wear" their babies during the first months.
Co-sleeping promotes deep attachment – mother-baby bonding – and makes nighttime feedings (whether breast or bottle) easier for Mom. Many mothers who co-sleep feel more attached to their baby and also get more uninterrupted sleep.
Co-sleeping creates bonding with mother and infant
I have experienced a deep bonding with both my sons as a result of co-sleeping. My co-sleeping experience started out as a necessity. I always said I wasn’t going to be “that mom.” You know the one, who goes against every suggestion in the baby book and does things “her way.” I started out reading the book, set on having a strict schedule, and let me tell you, co-sleeping was not on the agenda. I had seen my sister struggle with my nephew (who slept with her until he was eight), and I vowed that was not going to be me.
Fast-forward 10 years, to when I was expecting my first son. The crib was made, the clothes were washed, and I was ready to be a mom. My son was the model baby for the first week of life – I actually had to wake him up to eat! And then, the nightmare began, in the form of reflux. Screaming, crying, pacing – I sure wasn’t sleeping.
In fact, the only way I got any sleep was to have my son in bed with me, sitting upright. And here began my adventure in co-sleeping. Needless to say, my husband was less than thrilled. The idea of co-sleeping did eventually grow on him. I, however, began to look forward to sleeping next to my first-born on a nightly basis. In fact, the reflux cleared and the co-sleeping continued.
Considerations when co-sleeping with your baby
Safety needs to be the number one concern when co-sleeping with your baby. If you are going to co-sleep with your child, create a safe area for baby to sleep. Some parents choose to have the baby in bed; others use a bassinet or co-sleeper placed next to the bed. The sleeping area should be free of pillows or blankets, which could obstruct an infant's airway. Use bed rails or pillows to create a "wall" for added safety. Keep the room cool.
According to Attachment Parenting International, room temperature should be kept between 60ºF and 64ºF. Use blankets as necessary and a fan for air circulation. Dress your baby in tight fitting pajamas to keep warm. Use a light blanket pulled to the chest if necessary. Avoid fluffy blankets, pillows or stuffed animals to reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).
Although I have definitely followed the above mentioned rules, that is not to say I have not had nights when I reconsidered my sleeping arrangements (rather deeply, in fact). Many a night was spent dodging little arms and feet, waking with every toss and turn, and fighting for space (in a queen sized bed). Co-sleeping does not do much for your love life, either, unless you get creative.
However, any time I tried to have my son sleep in his crib, he would cry so much it broke my heart. He ended up back in my bed every time. One important aspect to remember when co-sleeping with your child is the nighttime routine. Keeping a nighttime routine, no matter where your baby sleeps, helps your child associate the activity with sleep. Give baby a warm bath, read a book, have a final nursing session, sing a lullaby or offer a bottle or pacifier. Keep lights low and lay him next to you in bed, preferably on the inside.
Is co-sleeping right for you and your baby?
I have continued to co-sleep with both my children and do not regret this decision at all. Co-sleeping with an older child can help strengthen the bond developed in infancy and give your toddler comfort and confidence. Weaning can be a challenge due to sneak "attacks" during the night. However, most children enjoy taking age-appropriate steps toward night-time independence when ceremonially presented with their own beds, dressed up in fanciful themes and colors of their own choice, in a transition period of open access to the parental haven.
When the time is right, my sons will let me know it is time for their own bed. Until then, I relish every moment I spend with my son, including the ones I am watching him sleep (or sleeping myself). Yes, I sacrifice some of my own privacy, but I believe it is a small sacrifice compared to the reward I receive. And I know that one day, when the time is right, my son will be very content in his own bed, with the knowledge that Mommy is right down the hall. In fact, I love co-sleeping so much; my second son (now eight months old) is sleeping in a crib in my bedroom, and yes, occasionally in bed with me.
My pediatrician, who does not agree or disagree with my decision to co-sleep, had told me a story of another co-sleeping family, who had three children sleeping in their room. They had dubbed their room “The Cave.”
I guess you could call me “Cave Lady."
Source:
Attachment Parenting International. Infant Sleep Safety Guidelines.
Michelle Blessing - Michelle Blessing started her professional writing career in 2010. She has experience in child development, parenting, social ...
